With so many opinions out there, it’s sometimes difficult to judge how to make this whole parenting thing work out. We are always striving to be the best mom or dad to raise the best children possible!
With that in mind, I have listed below 75 behaviors that you should avoid to help your children become successful adults.
1. Praising small things
Praising your child is a good thing. But praising them for doing any simple thing is not the way to motivate your child to keep driving themselves to accomplish more and more. For example, praising a 10-year old for for making her bed is silly. Any healthy child is capable of making a bed at 10.
Instead, heap on the praise for significant accomplishments that children make, like bringing their grades up or trying something new
2. Discouraging Friendships
Researchers reviewed the prior research on maladaptive parenting behaviors and found that positive outcomes for successful children included parents who helped their children create effective social networks. A strong social support system was helpful for children to rely on in times of uncertainty or stress.
3. We don’t let our children experience risk
We live in a world that warns us of danger at every turn. The «safety first» preoccupation enforces our fear of losing our kids, so we do everything we can to protect them. It’s our job after all, but we have insulated them from healthy risk-taking behavior and it’s had an adverse effect. Psychologists in Europe have discovered that if a child doesn’t play outside and is never allowed to experience a skinned knee, they frequently have phobias as adults. Kids need to fall a few times to learn it’s normal; teens likely need to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend to appreciate the emotional maturity that lasting relationships require. If parents remove risk from children’s lives, we will likely experience high arrogance and low self-esteem in our growing leaders.
4. Mistaking intelligence and giftedness for maturity.
Intelligence is often used as a measurement of a child’s maturity, and as a result parents assume an intelligent child is ready for the world. That’s not the case. Some professional athletes and Hollywood starlets, for example, possess unimaginable talent, but still get caught in a public scandal. Just because giftedness is present in one aspect of a child’s life, don’t assume it pervades all areas. There is no magic «age of responsibility» or a proven guide as to when a child should be given specific freedoms, but a good rule of thumb is to observe other children the same age as yours. If you notice that they are doing more themselves than your child does, you may be delaying your child’s independence.
5. Discouraging emotional expression
A healthy parent-child relationship is mutually beneficial to both child and adult. A balance of give and take early in a relationship is one of the best predictors of childhood success. To build this connection, honest discussion about frustrations, worries, and things that upset you can help children learn about negative emotions and how to handle them without suppressing them.